White Behind My Smile People see me being strong But don't know what's going wrong I help others day and night While inside, nothing feels right Since you left me, dearest PaaNo one sees how far I am I keep smiling every dayThough my heart has lost its way "Stay strong," they tell me all the time Not knowing how hard I try To walk alone on this hard roadCarrying such a heavy load Their wishes come like shopping lists Of things they want and can't resist But no one asks what I might need My own dreams left there to bleed Remember Paa, you used to say "Just name it, I'll find a way" You'd look into my eyes and know The wishes I was scared to show This strength that everyone can see Has become too heavy for me Making compromises each day While my own dreams slip away I miss you Paa, I miss you so You were the one who used to know When I was hurting deep inside When tears were hard for me to hide Behind my smile, if they could see All the pain inside of me Not because I am weak or small But because I'm human after all I keep managing, keep giving too Like I promised I would do But sometimes wish they'd understand I need someone to hold my hand They list their wants but never pause To ask what makes my heart so raw No one looks deep into my eyes Like you did, to hear my silent cries ©SAINDU

SAINDU

White Beautiful Poison Loving you started out so beautiful, like tasting something sweet for the first time. I was caught up in the magic of it all, blind to the warning signs. But slowly, your love began to hurt me. Like drinking from a broken glass, each moment with you cut a little deeper. I knew I was hurting myself by staying, but I couldn't stop hoping things would change. The signs were there - your empty promises, the times you weren't there when I needed you, the ways you kept breaking my trust. But I kept making excuses, holding onto those first perfect moments when everything felt right. I ignored all my friends' warnings, turned a blind eye to the truth. Even when I was clearly bleeding from your actions, I kept believing in us. In you. Now my heart carries these scars, reminders of how much I gave to someone who couldn't love me the same way back. I kept praying for a miracle, thinking maybe one day you'd change. But you can't fix something that wants to stay broken. And that's the hardest lesson I had to learn. 💔 ©SAINDU

SAINDU

White DARD Kyun sirf main hoon jo dard ko seh rahi, Har raaste pe kyun main hi bikhar rahi? Zakhmon ki kahani sirf mere hisse mein kyun, Kya yeh duniya mujhe hi chun rahi hai har junoon? Dil to sabka hai, phir kyun mera hi toota hai, Har sapna, har aasman kyun sirf mujhe hi chhutta hai? Kaash koi samjhta yeh dil ki aawaz , Har muskaan ke peeche kyun main hi ro rahi hoon? Main hi kyun hoon jo har mod pe girti hoon, Kyun sirf main hoon jo apno se bikhar ti hoon? Dard ka yeh silsila kab khatam hoga, Ya zindagi ka har pal mujhe kab tak yun hi tadpata rahega? Sab apne khush hain, phir kyun main akeli hoon, Kyun har khushi ke baad, main sirf dard mein ghiri hoon? Kya meri kahani bas dard hi ban jayegi, Ya kabhi zindagi mujhe bhi apnayi si lagegi? ©SAINDU

SAINDU

White ZINDAGANI Zindagi ki raahon mein khud ko kho diya hai, Sab apne hain, par apna koi nahi lagta hai. Chal rahi hai duniya, phir bhi tanhaayi ka ehsaas, Kaun hai jo samjhe, kahan hai mera koi paas? Maa ke saath hoon toh sab theek lagta hai, Uske bina har lamha khaali sa dikh ta hai. Chup si khamoshi hai, jo dil mein utre ja rahi, Har pal yeh tanhaayi mujhe dheere se duba rahi. Socha tha, sab theek hoga, bas yahi raasta hai, Par har mod pe lagta hai, jaise kuch adhura sa hai. Main galat hoon ya yeh duniya ka dhokha hai, Kaun samjhega yeh jo dil ke andar chhupa hai? Kabhi toh koi hoga, jo meri baat samjhega, Meri takleefon ko apne pyaar se dhundh lega. Apne bhi ajnabi se lagne lage hain, Aur jo paraye the, wo hamesha doori mein base hain. ©SAINDU

SAINDU